The Egg Salad Equivalency
by sexystarwarslover
Summary: Anakin and Obi Wan are roommates and Anakin thinks he is highly skilled above all his friends. Obi Wan and Padme are in love. Anakin has a new assistant Ahsoka. Will she come between Obi Wan and Padme and how will their friends react and just what does Anakin do that sees his friends in trouble?
1. Cast & Background Story

**Star Wars & The Big Bang Theory Crossover**

 _"The Egg Salad Equivalency"_

 **Author's Note**

Never have done a crossover with this show before, but it's one of my favourites and thought I'd try something different. For this story, Obi Wan, Anakin, Garen, Quinlan and Ahsoka are still Jedi. Padme, instead of a Senator at this point, is a waitress. Satine is a Senator and part time waitress with Padme and Dorme is a smart librarian who works in the archives. And for continuity in the story, Obi Wan and Anakin live in an apartment complex, not the temple and Padme lives opposite them. You will see in this story the characters show a different side of how you know them. Enjoy!

 **Characters**

Obi Wan - Leonard

Padme - Penny

Anakin - Sheldon

Dorme - Amy

Garen - Howard

Satine - Bernadette

Quinlan - Raj

Ahsoka - Alex

Luminera- Janine

 **Background Story**

Obi Wan and Anakin had been roommates for six years. The two of them are two of the strongest, smartest Jedi of the Order however Anakin knows he is the best of them all and ensures that his friends don't forget it. His other two friends, Garen and Quinlan he met through Obi Wan. While the four of them are smart, strong Jedi warriors, there is **one** thing they lack - social skills.

That is, until they met Padme who moved in across from Obi Wan and Anakin. Obi Wan was drawn to her immediately and while it was rocky at the start and a series of on and off stages in their relationships, they are now currently at a good stage of their relationship.

Garen is now married to Padme's friend Satine, who he asked Obi Wan to help find him a girlfriend through Padme. Garen would flirt constantly with girls before he was married with no luck. Now he is happy with Satine and their friends

Quinlan was the outsider and didn't know how to interact with girls mostly kept to himself unless he was with Obi Wan, Anakin and Garen. He use to be the only one without a girlfriend until he and Garen signed Anakin unknowingly up for dating and he met Dorme although Anakin insists its not a proper relationship like Obi Wan and Padme or Garen and Satine.

Recently, Anakin found himself an assistant to help him with his workload and missions. She's young and sweet and Quinlan found himself crushing on her however she has a crush on Obi Wan.


	2. Summary

**Summary**

Obi Wan has discovered that Anakin's assistant Ahsoka has a crush on him even though he has a girlfriend. Obi Wan has **never** had two girls in love with him at the same time so he savours in it to the horror of his friend Quinlan who also has a crush on her.

When Anakin discovers that Ahsoka has a crush on Obi Wan, he reacts in horror thinking Ahsoka's time should be spent focused on his workload and seeks the help of Padme, Satine and his girlfriend Dorme who does **not** work out how he wants _**accidentally**_ revealing Obi Wan's savouring Ahsoka's crush on him and Padme does **not** take it well that there is another girl after her boyfriend.

Anakin takes matters into his own hands to resolve the matter however he doesn't realise how much professional trouble he will land and who else it involves.


	3. Chapter 1 - A Sudden Surprise

**Chapter 1 - A Sudden Surprise**

It was a quiet evening for Obi Wan and Anakin, spending it at home in their apartment. Most nights would be either watching television or playing video games but tonight, they had decided to put Obi Wan's idea of giant Jenga to the test. Anakin was taking extra precautions and had Ahsoka buy him a yellow hard hat for him to wear. They were in the living room with the blocks stacked in front of them. It was growing in height and had past them and they were now taking the game seriously and in focus so that neither of them knocked it over.

Anakin studies the tower curiously as he wonders where he is going to make his next move. He studies the blocks once more wondering which one he could move and place in another spot "I must say Obi Wan, when I first heard your idea for giant jenga, I was sceptical" he confesses as Obi Wan looks up at the tower

"I can't say I blame you" he admits "Tiny twister was a **complete** bust" he admits referring to the last unique game idea as Anakin shakes his head, after having removed one piece

"Oh, but I was wrong" he quickly replies "The **looming** threat of being crushed under a pile of lumber does add a certain spice" he reveals slowly placing his piece on a higher level of the tower grinning in accomplishment as the tower was still standing "I've never felt so alive" he gushes just at the moment there was a knock at the door.

Anakin moves over to open the door seeing his assistant Ahsoka standing there and he remembers why he asked her to come by "Oh, hello Ahsoka" he smiles "Let me go get you last night's recordings" he tells her as Obi Wan looks over at him curiously

"What recordings?" he asks him as Anakin stops and looks back at him

"Remember when you told me I talk in my sleep?" he reminds him going on "Well, it occurred to me that, like most things I say, it's **probably** pure gold" he boasts once more explaining himself once more "So, I started recording it all and now Ahsoka gets to comb through of what I like to call _Anakin after dark_ " he reveals

Anakin then heads off to his room to retrieve the recordings leaving Ahsoka and Obi Wan in the living room. Obi Wan prepares to make his next move to remove a piece. Ahsoka speaks first "Hey Obi Wan" she chimes as Obi Wan looks over at her

"Hey, just playing a little giant jenga" he informs her as Ahsoka nods

"Oh I know, I'm the one who had to buy him the helmet" she replies before she then asks "So, do you have plans this weekend?" she asks as Obi Wan reaches for a piece

"Most of Saturday's gonna be figuring out where to put this game when we're done" he points out "How about you?" he asks as Ahsoka smiles

"Oh I'm gonna hear Plo Koon give a lecture about Vaapad lightsaber fighting style" she admits as Obi Wan looks over at her in interest

"Oh that's his take on Mace Windu's lecture. That should be great" he admits as Ahsoka then had a thought

"Well, you can come with me" she suggests as Obi Wan then remembers what else he would be doing

"I'd love to, but I'm supposed to hang out with Padme" he tells her as Ahsoka shrugs

"Well, bring her" she simply says as Obi Wan shakes his head

"She's not **really** into that kind of stuff" he explains. This was definitely true, due to the number of times he had tried in the past as Ahsoka then had another thought

"Well, if you want to hear about the lecture, I can tell you all about it at work" she suggests "Or you know, over dinner, sometime" she adds. This took Obi Wan completely by surprised

"What?" he asks not paying attention and accidentally bumping the tower causing it to collapse to the ground. Hearing the commotion from his room, Anakin came running back out

"Giant jenga, I will!" he cheers in delight, hands in the air however Obi Wan did **not** respond and remained silent as he processed Ahsoka's last response - did she just make a date with him even though he has a girlfriend?

* * *

The following day, Anakin, Obi Wan, Garen and Quinlan were back at the Temple working. Anakin was still in his office when Obi Wan, Garen and Quinlan headed to lunch in the mess hall where once more Quinlan was showing them what else he thought of in his spare time, something Garen could **not** believe

"Oh come on, that **can't** be true" he scoffs heading over towards their table

"I did the research" Quinlan insists "Rex, Boiler, Cody, Waxer, Boss, Scorch, Fixer, Sev and Bly" rattling off clone trooper names as they sit at their table "Not **one** clone trooper is a girl!" he exclaims "It's a total military sausage fest!" he scoffs

Obi Wan rolls his eyes hoping he could change the subject "Are we done with this?" he asks as Quinlan shook his head

"Almost Slice, Thire, Jek, Rys and CT-5555, I believe his name is Hevy" he concludes as Obi Wan only shakes his head

"Terrific" he says only in a tone of _now can we move on._ "Something weird happened and I don't know what to about it" he confesses as Garen looks over at his friend

"What's going on?" he asks as Obi Wan answers him

"Anakin's assistant ask me on a date last night" he reveals. This shocked Quinlan the most

"How could you do that to me?" he asks in disbelief "You know I've been working it with Ahsoka for weeks" he reminds him

"Working it?" Obi Wan asks, confused "You can't even talk to her" he reminds him as Quinlan looked hurt

"I talk with my eyes" he corrects him looking down and then looks back at him giving him a hard focus stare at him and then at Garen who starts to feel uncomfortable

"You look like one of the younglings when they're trying to mind trick" he points out as Quinlan looks surprised but keeps quiet as Obi Wan goes on

"She knows I have a girlfriend" he reminds them "It's so weird" he adds smirking in delight as Quinlan gasps

"Oh my god, you're loving this!" he cries out as Obi Wan nods

"To my bones!" he exclaims chuckling before he adds "I'm gonna do anything about it. I love Padme" he assures them "It's just nice to have a young attractive woman sniffing around the goods" he reveals. Obi Wan **rarely** had something like this happen before, something Quinlan was **not** enjoying

"I both **hate** you and **want** to be you" he grumbles "This is Bail Organa all over again" he confesses referring to the charismatic Senator from Alderaan. It was just at this moment Anakin joins them at the table, no idea what had been said

"Aww, gentlemen. What is on the conversational menu this morning?" he asks as Quinlan is quick to respond

"Obi Wan **stole** my woman and he knew I was only six to eight months away from making my move!" he exclaims as Obi Wan shakes his head

"I didn't steal anyone" he corrects him as Quinlan goes on

"Your assistant is totally hitting on this jerk and he **loves** it" he tells him as Anakin looks over at Obi Wan in disbelief

"Well, that's not acceptable. I'm her boss" he reminds him "She needs to be solely focused on **my** needs, not distracted by your pasty and androgynous brand of sexuality!" he exclaims. Once again, Anakin, knowing little about romance or flirting, he brought it back on all about him. Obi Wan looks back at him

"I'm androgynous?" he asks, confused as Anakin scoffs

"Oh please, look at you with your pouty bee stung lips" he replies as Obi Wan looks back at Garen and Quinlan

"What do guys think I should do?" he asks as Quinlan was prepared for that

"I say you tell Ahsoka your heart belongs to Padme" he begins to reply "I provide her a shoulder to cry on, then roughly half a year later, I give it to her good" he concludes. Garen shakes his head as Obi Wan finds that hard to believe from his friend. He did love Padme and didn't want to hurt her however little did he know just what Anakin would do to stop this matter.


	4. Chapter 2 - Anakin's Plan

**Chapter 2 - Anakin's Plan**

That evening, Anakin, determined to ensure that this flirting with Ahsoka and Obi Wan ended so that the focus was on his work. He asked Padme and Satine to meet him at Dorme's apartment where he decided he would seek the advice of all three ladies. Padme, Satine and Dorme all sat down as Anakin joined them upon leaving the kitchen

"I want to thank you all for coming on such short notice" he tells them realising he had asked Padme and Satine to change their plans at the last minute before he went on "In the past, I've reached out to you ladies individually but I believe my present situation requires the collective wisdom of the group, which s you can see from your commemorative t-shirts, I've dubbed..." he pauses to take a shirt from his bag "Anakin Skywalker's Council of Ladies" he reveals holding out the shirt with those words.

Padme looks confused as she turns to her two friends "What is happening?" she asks them as Anakin decides to get down to the matter at hand

"I need your advice about a delicate workplace situation" he admits "To protect those involved, I'll be changing their names" he insists as Satine speaks up

"Who's involved?" she asks as Anakin answers her

"A short, bespectacled colleague of mine, who lives in the shadow of his brilliant roommate, uh let's call this colleague Ricardo Shilly Shally" he suggests as Padme rolls her eyes

"You're talking about Obi Wan" she tells him not buying his cover as Anakin shakes his hand

"No, no, Shilly Shally has red hair and briefly served in the Corellian army" he insists going on "Anyway despite the fact that he has a girlfriend, Shilly Shally has been the recipient of inappropriate workplace flirtations from a young lady" he reveals

Dorme smirks "It's your assistant, Ahsoka isn't it?" she asks as Anakin argues once more

"No, no, it's Tondelaya della Ventimiglia" he corrects her as Padme becomes more annoyed

"What the hell is going on with Obi Wan and Ahsoka!?" she snaps as Anakin tries to continue his cover story

"I'm sorry who's talking about Obi Wan and Ahsoka?" he asks her as she sighs

"Fine!" she scoffs "Ricardo and Tondelaya!" she cries as Anakin goes on

"Oh, okay look it's not really about Ricardo and Tondelaya" he admits "It is really about her boss who doesn't **quite** know how to handle this situation and could use your advice which is surprising because Dr Einstein Von Brainstorm, he's usually pretty smart about these things" he boasts as Padme groans looking over at Satine and Dorme

"Ugh, I'm gonna kill her!"she exclaims as Satine tried to re assure her friend

"I'm sure you've got nothing to worry about. Obi Wan would never cheat on you" she promises her as Dorme nods

"She's right" she adds before she goes on "But say the word and I know someone would access to wild nexus" she grins "One of them could end up in the back seat of her car" she informs her "Or her shower" she smirks cheekily as Anakin felt he needed to get the situation back onto him

"Ladies, ladies, please we're not here to talk about Padme. We're here to talk about me..." he quickly shakes his head "I mean Einstein Von Brainstorm! Darn it!" he huffs folding his arms across his chest before he sighs realising he can't keep up the cover story. "All right, I guess the cat's out of the bag" he reveals "Let me explain what's going on, Ricardo is really Obi-" before he cut off by Padme

"We know what's going on, Anakin!" she snaps as Anakin looks over at them

"But what should I do?" he asks as Satine answered him

"Ahsoka's your employee. If she's doing something that's making Obi Wan uncomfortable, you should talk to her" she suggests as Anakin scoffs

"Oh he's not uncomfortable at all. He's loving it" he blurts out "He's strutting around like he's five foot six" he explains as Padme's eyes widen

"What!?" she exclaims "He's loving it?" she asks in horror as Satine speaks up once more

"Anakin, you need to talk to Ahsoka right away" she warns him as Anakin gasps

"Talk to her...that's all you've got?" he asks them sighing in disbelief "With a cool name like _Anakin Skywalker's council of ladies_ I really expected more" he pointed out. He slumps back in his chair before he leans forward "Give me back the t-shirts" he tells them taking the shirts back from confused Padme, Satine and Dorme as Anakin wasn't aware how he made this situation worse for Obi Wan now that Padme knew.

* * *

The following day Anakin **did** decide to take Satine's advice and speak with Ahsoka however rather than speak directly to her, he would make it something on his to do list. Anakin sat at his desk working on his datapad as Ahsoka filed some holo disks away. Anakin broke the silence

"Ahsoka, check my schedule. What does my afternoon look like?" he asks her seeing her turn around pulling out her own mini datapad

"I think it's pretty wide open" she insists before she notices something marked down "Oh wait, here's something at four o'clock" she notes "Give Ahsoka a talking to?" she asks confused. Anakin is silent for a moment before he replies

"Well, that snuck up on us, didn't it?" he asks her as Ahsoka still was confused

"Is there a problem?" she asks him as Anakin leans back in his chair

"Let's not call it a problem" he replies "Let's call it an opportunity to solve a serious problem as Ahsoka took a seat

"What did I do?" she asks him as Anakin looks surprised

"You don't know?" he replies "Oh, you poor dear" he mutters "Your ovaries are squirting so much goofy juice into your brain, you don' know which way is up" he then leans forward resting his hands on his desk "You made an inappropriate sexual advance towards Jedi Kenobi" he states.

Ahsoka's eyes widen in shock "What!?" she exclaims "I didn't make a sexual advance on anybody" she argues as Anakin shook his head

"Now there's no need to get defensive, I'm not unsympathetic to your plight" he explains "My father used to say that a woman is like an egg salad sandwich on a arm Tatooine day" he goes on confusing Ahsoka even more

"What?" she asks as Anakin explains himself once more

"Full of eggs and only appealing for a short time" he replies as Ahsoka shifts in her seat

"This conversation is making me uncomfortable" she admits as Anakin sighs

"Yeah, you and me both sister" he mutters getting up from his seat moving around his desk so that he was in front of her. "Now, please understand, I don't hold you responsible for your behaviour" he insists "From an evolutionary stand point, you're a slave to your desire to reproduce" he informs her going on "But during the work day, when you feel possessed by amorous intent, may I suggest this illustrated book of sexually transmitted diseases" he suggests reaching behind him for a booklet to show her. He opens it up "Oh, yes, check out this oozy doozy" he adds

Anakin holds the book out towards Ahsoka, who uncomfortable even more, eyes widen as she decides she needs to get out of the room "I have to go" she tells him getting to her feet as Anakin cuts in once more

"So does this fellow" he says pointing to another photo in the booklet "But he can't without it burning like hot soup" he warns her. However Ahsoka hurries up to get out of the office leaving Anakin thinking he has resolved the matter however unfortunately it was **not** over.


	5. Chapter 3 - In Trouble

**Chapter 3 - In Trouble**

At the same time back home, Padme was coming back to her apartment after a long day at Dexter's Diner. She was nearing her apartment when she heard Obi Wan whistling inside his apartment before she sees the door open revealing Obi Wan with his clothes basket. He smirks as he sees her

"Hey pretty lady" he grins as Padme, remembering what has been helping and how Obi Wan is allowing Ahsoka to flirt with him, keeps causal

"You seem extra happy" she notes as he nods

I guess I am" he innocently and casually replies as Padme, waiting for him to mention what happened on his own only asks

"Any particular reason why?" she asks seeing him shake his head

"No, just having a good day" he replies "This morning Anakin fell asleep on the way to work so I got to listen to the radio, that was crazy" he admits referring to the **many, many** times Anakin had controlling in the speeder.

Padme nods "Mm-hm, anything else?" she asks as Obi Wan begins to remember what else happened

"Mm, I found this quiz online called _which Jedi Master are you_ and it only took me four tries to Master Yoda" he smirks as Padme smiles

"That's great" attempting to control her anger and remain casual as Obi Wan smirks

"Great, it was" he replies mimicking Yoda's voice as Padme smiles once more

"Hmm, I'm glad you're having such a great day" she says moving over towards her apartment as Obi Wan follows her

"And the **only** think that could make it better is an evening with my special girl" he reveals. This had Padme's interest

"Oh and who's that?" she asks him as he looks at her confused

"What do you mean?" he asks as Padme shrugs

"Oh, I just didn't know if you mean me or Ahsoka" she reminds him as Obi Wan freezes in his spot a little nervous

"Why would I mean Ahsoka?" he asks as Padme started to feel her temper rising

"Because I know she hit on you and I know you liked it!" she snaps. Obi Wan was **really** nervous now

"What?" he nervously laughs as Padme angrily snaps

"Don't play dumb with me, Ricardo Shilly Shally!" she cries storming into her apartment closing the door in his face. Obi Wan stands there confused

"I'm missing something" he mutters heading back to his apartment knowing that Anakin had something to do with what just happened

"Did you say something to Padme about Ahsoka?" he asks him hoping this time he may be wrong as Anakin, who had been working on his datapad, looks over at him

"Yes and a fat lot of good it did me" he replies "All she did was get mad at you" he informs him as Obi Wan sighs

"Why would you do that?" he asks as Anakin explains himself

"I needed advice about a woman" he admits referring to Ahsoka "I would have asked you, but if the last few years have proven anything, it's that you can't tell a uterus from a unicycle" he points out as Obi Wan shakes his head in disbelief

"At least I know not to blab to a girl about something flirting with her boyfriend" he tells him just as Anakin's comlink chimes

"Good to know" Anakin simply replies "A few more helpful hints like that, you may find yourself on the council of ladies" he says as he goes to answer his comlink

"Hello?" he asks. Obi Wan silently listens to his friend take the call "I see what time?" Anakin asks before he nods "Very well then" he says hanging up and places the comlink down "Huh, that was the Human Resources Department at the Temple" he informs Obi Wan "Apparently my assistant Ahsoka has filed a complaint accusing me of inappropriate behaviour in the workplace" he reveals

Obi Wan rolls his eyes, just what exactly did Anakin do. "Oh my god, what did you do?" he asks him as Anakin looks away

"Oh, let me think" he replies then shakes his head "Nothing, I'm a delight" he insists. Obi Wan sighs. He never understood his friend's behaviour and this time it seems he may have crossed the line.

* * *

The following morning once Anakin arrived at the Temple, he headed straight for the Human Resources department which was run by Master Luminera Unduli. Anakin reaches the door and raises his hand to knock. He then remembers, he's never been here before and usually he knocks three times on a door.

He knocks once "Human Resources Department" he says "Human Resources Department" he repeats knocking once more "Human Resources Department" he repeats again knocking a third time. Luminera, who is sitting at her desk, slowly raises her head, confused

"Come in?" she calls out confused as the door opens to reveal Anakin

"Hello" he says stepping into the room as she straightens up in her seat

"Jedi Skywalker, have a seat" she tells him as he moves over towards an empty seat in front of her

"Thank you" he replies as Luminera speaks up

"I called you in today because your assistant Ahsoka Tano has lodged a complaint against you" she informs him as Anakin shakes his head, still unsure why this has happened

"So I've been told, but I can't understand what she has to complain about" he admits. Obviously, he thought his last conversation with her ended well. He went on "She has a front row seat as I make history in the Jedi Order" he boasts "There's string cheese in my mini fridge and that's for anyone" he assures her "And yesterday I led her away from a life of sexual promiscuity by making her look at pictures of disease ridden genitalia" he concludes

Luminera looked at him, stunned. This was certainly a very _**interesting**_ case. She reaches for her comlink

"Cancel my next appointment" she tells her assistant "This is gonna take a while" she warns her as Anakin only looks curiously at her once more before she goes on "Jedi Skywalker, you said things to your employee that you just cannot say in the workplace" she explains as Anakin shrugs

"Like what?" he innocently asks as Luminera then reaches for the compliant report filed

"Well, according to Ms Tano, you said that she was a slave to her biological urges and called her an _egg salad sandwich_ " she points out shaking her head "I don't even know what that means but I'm gonna go ahead and tell you can't say that" she explains.

Anakin, who had been listening quietly then decides to explain himself "Oh, I see the confusion here" he replies "Ahsoka thought I was singling her out" he adds going on "No, I meant that **all** woman are slaves to their biological urges" he tells her "Even you" he adds

Luminera's eyes widen in shock "I'm a what?" she asks as Anakin goes on

"I'm just saying, at a certain point in a woman's menstrual cycle-" it is then that she quickly cuts him off

"Uh, uh, no you can't talk about that either!" she exclaims "Your language is entirely inappropriate and I'm going to advice that you shut your mouth right now!" she snaps trying to keep her temper low as Anakin argues back

"I don't see why I'm the one being persecuted here" he replies going on "Jedi Kenobi was bragging about his sexual desirability to anyone who would listen" he blurts out "And Garen Muren spent **two** years using Temple resources building a six breasted sex robot!" he exclaims as Luminera starts to make notes hearing Anakin rant on "And at Temple Christmas party, I heard Quinlan Vos refer to you several times as _green sugar_ " he concludes referring to the colour of her skin unaware what **exactly** he had just done to his friends

Luminera then looks back at him "Kenobi, Muren" she begins to reply "And the last one is Quinlan Vos?" she asks.

Anakin, unaware of what he had just done, nods "Yes, but that last one wasn't in a racist term" he adds giving a small sincere smile not aware he had just gotten his friends into serious trouble.


	6. Chapter 4 - Thrown Under The Speeder

**Chapter 4 - "Thrown Under The Speeder"**

Unaware of what was happening with Anakin, Obi Wan's focus was on making things right with Padme. Padme was ignoring him and was keeping to herself in her apartment reading. She then hears a knock at the door and goes to open it, finding Obi Wan standing there. He gives her a small smile before he starts to sing, knowing she couldn't resist him when he sung.

 _"I'm sorry Ahsoka hit on me"_ he starts to sing _"Hit on me, hit on me"_ he continues as Padme tilts her head as he goes on _"Sorry Ahsoka hit on me, I had no idea I'm cute"_ he cheekily grins. Padme sighs. She loved Obi Wan and he had **definitely** broken her down with his sweet voice

"Aw, damn it, you are" she mutters as Obi Wan takes her hands in his

"Please forgive me" he tells her "I should have told you about Ahsoka" he admits as Padme shakes her head

"I don't care about Ahsoka" she argues "Fine, I care" she then adds before she grunts "Okay, I hate that bitch" she reveals going on "But what really hurt is that you **liked** it so much" she confesses "Do I need to be worried?" she asks

Obi Wan quickly shakes his head "Of course not, no, why?" he asks her as Padme then answers him

"Because she's pretty and smart and when you talk about work, she doesn't have to look up words in the dictionary to understand what you said" she admits

Obi Wan looks at her curiously "You do that?" he asks as Padme shakes her head

"No" she replies before she moves back into her apartment as Obi Wan then realises something

"Hang on, are you feeling insecure?" he asks her sitting down next to her on the couch "Because that's my thing and if you take it away, I don't know what I'm bringing to this relationship" he admits.

Padme sighs. She didn't like to admit it because in past relationship, she hadn't dated a Jedi before, they were **much** smarter than the others.

"Yes, Obi Wan, I am insecure, happy?" she snaps. Obi Wan attempts to hide his smirk but fails

"No, I'm not happy" he replies as Padme glares back at him seeing him smirking

"Why are you smiling?" she asks as Obi Wan stops smirking

"I'm sorry, it's just I **never** think of you having feelings like that" he reveals as Padme looks back at him

"Well, I do" she softly replies as Obi Wan looks confused

"Why?" he asks, "Nothing is ever going to happen between me and Ahsoka" he promises her.

Padme breathes easily once again "Good" she says as he wraps an arm around her

"Come here" he says, holding her close. He gives her a soft gentle kiss on her cheek right at the moment his comlink chimes. "Excuse me" he tells her as she watches him take out his comlink. "Hello?" he answers "This is Jedi Kenobi" Padme hears him say as he listens to who is on the other end of the call "Okay, all right, thank you" he says hanging up. He places the comlink down "That's weird" he says "I'm getting called into Human Resources" he reveals

"What did you do?" Padme asks him as Obi Wan thinks for a moment but nothing came to mind

"I don't know" he only replies however he would soon discover what had happened.

* * *

At the same time, Obi Wan was getting the news, Garen who was home with Satine, was too. Satine was cleaning away their dinner plates as Garen hangs up his comlink

"Huh, I just got called into Human Resources" he tells her. Satine looks over at him, confused. She knew her husband loved a chance to flirt with **any** girl or woman in the past but he had changed after they met

"Why?" she asks as Garen shakes his head

"I don't know" he replies with a chuckle.

* * *

And Quinlan just got his phone call. He was laying on his couch as he hung up his comlink

"Huh, that is so strange" he mutters "Human Resources wants to talk to me tomorrow" he reveals looking over at his astromech droid who was fiddling around with his tools

"Would you stop fiddling with your tools!" he snaps "I have a problem here" he tells him as the droid only beeps and whistles going back to playing with his tools leaving Quinlan to wonder what he had done wrong.

* * *

The following morning, upon arriving at the Temple, Garen and Quinlan headed straight to Human Resources where they were now waiting in the waiting room. Garen sat quietly as Quinlan was preparing himself to talk to Luminera. Of course, his problem was not being able to talk with women unless he was drinking and was now adding a little something extra to his coffee.

Garen rolls his eyes at his friend "Do you really think you should be drinking right now?" he asks him as Quinlan, after taking a sip, snaps back at him

"How else am I supposed to talk to the Human Resources, lady?" he asks him as Garen shrugs

"I don't know, seek professional help" he suggests as Quinlan scoffs

"I did!" he exclaims "The guy at the liquor store said this stuff tastes great in coffee" he explains right at the moment that Obi Wan came around the corner, to Garen and Quinlan's horror.

"You got called in too!?" Garen exclaims shocked as Obi Wan shook his head. He, unfortunately, found out what had happened with Anakin last night

"Anakin threw us all under the speeder" he tells them as Quinlan leans back in his seat

"I feel like I've been called before the Jedi masters" he admits "Although I wouldn't mind if green sugar suspended me..." he then starts to smirk "From a sex swing!" he teases. He then realises that his _coffee_ may be too much. "This _**may**_ have been a mistake" he admits. Garen then decided to put his friends at ease

"Relax, everything's gonna be fine" he assures them "Before I met Satine, I was in here every other day" he reminds them as Quinlan once more decided to bring up how this all happened in the first place.

"This is all your fault!" he snaps at Obi Wan taking him back by surprise

"How is this my fault?" he asks in disbelief as Quinlan then explains himself

"If you weren't screwing around with Anakin's assistant, this wouldn't have happened" he informs him as Obi Wan argues back

"I wasn't screwing around with **anyone**!" he corrects him. This was true. He didn't **plan** for Ahsoka to have a crush on him and it certainly wasn't his fault Quinlan couldn't talk with her as Quinlan scoffs

"Oh, of course not, she was just sniffing around your goods because she was hunting from shurras!" he snaps referring to the sweet fruit right as the door to Luminara's office opened and out she comes. Garen, Quinlan and Obi Wan all get to their feet. She once more remembers Garen

"Ah, Mr Muren, it's been awhile" she admits as Garen smiles

"Hi Luminera" he replies. By now, his **many** trips made him on a first name term with her "How's Barriss?" he asks referring to her apprentice as she smiles

"Fine" she replies looking over at Quinlan and Obi Wan

"You must be Jedi Kenobi" she says as Obi Wan moves forward

"Yes, but I think this is all a big misunderstanding" he informs her as Quinlan steps up in between Garen and Luminera

"Yeah, me too, I didn't do anything!" he insists as Luminera tilts her head back

"Is that alcohol on your breath?" she asks him smelling his _coffee_ breath. Quinlan panics

"Garen built a sex robot!" he exclaims looking at his now shocked friend

"That's not true" Garen corrects him "All I did was build a robot" he lies as Luminera looks back at him

"Did it have six breasts?" she asks as he chuckles nervously

"I'm sorry I'm a feminist" he points out "I don't notice things like if it had six breasts" he lies. He was trying his best to cover up his past discretions just as Anakin turns the corner finding them all standing there

"Uh hello" he says as Obi Wan looks over at his friend, confused as to why he was here. He already ratted them out, what else could he say?

"What are you doing here?" he asks as Anakin answers him

"Actually, I came to speak to Master Unduli" he tells him as Luminera answers him

"And I'm a little busy right now" she points out as Anakin wouldn't give up

"But I came to file a complaint" he reveals "Somebody has made me feel uncomfortable in the workplace by using language of an inappropriate and sexual nature" he informs her as she looks at him shocked

"And who was that?" she asks as Anakin answers her quickly

"You! You dirty birdie!" he exclaims folding his arms across his chest "I thought about the things you said yesterday and I realized I'm **deeply** offended" he tells her "Now, be a dear and get me one of those complaint forms" he says. That was Luminera decided to take full charge of this situation

"That's it!" she snaps "All of you, in my office now" she orders seeing them all silently enter the office. Anakin was the last one to follow.

"Thanks to you, I know better than to ask you if you're menstruating" he points out seeing her shocked face adding "Based on your behaviour, I don't have to" he abruptly says. Unfortunately, Luminera was **not** going to make it **any** easier for any of them.


	7. Chapter 5 - Mending Relationships

**Chapter 5 - Mending Relationships**

A short time later, Anakin knew he needed to apologise to Ahsoka and he asked her to come to his office where she now sat opposite him as he sat at his desk.

"It has been pointed out to me that **some** of the things I said to you _**could**_ be construed as offensive" he explains "And I would like to offer you my sincerest apology" he informs her. Ahsoka stares back at him, hearing the tone in his voice as sincere

"Thank you Jedi Skywalker" she replies however Anakin wasn't finished

"Additionally, you should know that the temple has mandated that I take an online sexual harassment seminar so that this sort of thing doesn't happen in the future" he reveals as Ahsoka nods

"Okay" she agrees as Anakin still wasn't finished

"Now, unfortunately, my time is much **too** valuable to waste on nonsense like this, so I'm going to need you to take it for me" he informs her. He pushes his datapad towards her and gets up from his seat moving around as she sat there stunned. He then had **one** more thing to add "Oh, and you'd better ace it, they're pretty mad" he warns her exiting his office leaving her stunned. Clearly, Anakin hadn't changed much with regards to understanding this **whole** situation.

* * *

That evening over at Obi Wan and Anakin's apartment, Obi Wan was having a night with Padme and they had just finished dinner. Obi Wan was starting to clean the dishes as Padme brought hers over. She was wearing a cloak over her outfit and wanted to speak to him about her worries

"I was thinking about that stuff with Ahsoka" she reveals as Obi Wan sighs, taking the plate from her

"Would you stop worrying about that?" he asks her having assured her that he only loved her as Padme shook her head

"I can't help it" she admits "But I figured I could sit around and feel insecure or I could do something about it" she explains "So I took a trip to the Jedi Temple to look around and see if it would help me understand you more" she tells him as Obi Wan was surprised

"That's great" he replies as Padme shook her head

"No, it isn't. It's **extremely** boring" she confesses "I don't understand how you not kill yourself like every day!" she exclaims before she brings herself back to her point "Anyway, I decided I'm not going to ever be a Jedi, but I can just look the part" she explains.

Obi Wan then watches as she undid her cloak revealing a cream coloured Jedi tunic she was wearing and brown boots. He had **never** seen her like this and **never** thought he would. She then shows him a small training saber on her belt "So, I borrowed this" she reveals. Obi Wan looks back at him

"You borrowed a Jedi uniform and training saber, you really think that's gonna change..." he was then cut off when he sees Padme ignite the saber. His eyes widen

"Oh my god, you look so smart and hot!" he exclaims as she grins

"I know right?" she grins "Watch this!" she exclaims performing a small fighting stance. It was then Obi Wan was turned on even more.

"Okay, come with me" he tells her taking her hand as she deactivates the saber

"Where are we going?" she asks giggling as Obi Wan leads her towards the bedrooms

"To my bedroom so I can take everything off" he informs her "Except the utility belt with saber" he tells her "And the boots" he adds. It was clear to say, that Padme and Obi Wan's relationship was safe and his feelings and love were only for Padme and she has **nothing** to worry about.

 _The end. I hope you all enjoyed this. This was my first Big Bang Theory story other than a Friends one. Perhaps the first of many!_


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